Bug From Hell....

See that thing over on the right? That's a European Hornet. The scale next to it is unfortunately defective; marked in some bizarre units that no one understands (MM? CM?). The horrific thing is about 2 inches long, and roughly the same diameter as an adult male's pinky finger.

When you first see one....your first thought is, Holy shit, that thing is scary.

I caused one to "shuffle off the mortal coil" yesterday.

'Bout a week ago, I scored roughly 30 small hornets with a can of Raid Wasp and Hornet Killer. "Killer" is an apt word. This stuff is so strong, standard, non-mutant bugs get dizzy when you just think about spraying them.

Anyway...I snuck out to the patio where he was spreading terror, and caught him with a direct shot of, literally, "hornet whoop ass in a can". The damned thing buzzed up to about an arm's length in front of my face. I could feel the blood drain out of my head and oddly, pool up in the area of my bowels. Oh shit, I've only pissed this thing off.....this Japanese Horror Movie Flying Death Bug.

Apparently desiring more lethality in its attack by diving at me from a greater altitude....it left the area of my face and rose up to roughly 20'....where it slowed, spun a bit like a helicopter with a defective tail rotor, then plummeted into the lawn.

I smoked a cigarette--the entire thing in about three drags--before I walked out to the spot he landed; thought it might be prudent to let the toxin do its stuff. So I approached the spot; can of poison held out as if warding off a vampire with a cross. It lie there twitching in its death throes. The first twitch caused the neurons to fire off in my brain and my finger spastically hosed the beast with another deluge of compressed death.

I returned to the garage and smoked another cigarette.

I stubbed out the completely smoked cigarette and rounded up a bucket. I panicked for a bit when I couldn't find a utensil to pick up the hell spawn. No way I'm touching that thing with my bare fingers. Settling on a pair of pliers, I again, walked out to its landing spot.....oh shit, where was it....probably lose a leg if I step on it. I safely found it. Not sure how I could have friggin' missed it.....it was huge. I gingerly squeezed one of its wings with the pliers and dropped it in the bucket. Clunk. I set the bucket on the patio and smoked another cigarette.

I finished the latest spent butt and spent several minutes desperately searching for some kind of container with a lid.....a really tight, secure lid. This'll do it....I can hammer the lid on tighter if I need to. I tiptoed over to the bucket and carefully peeked over the rim. If some random nervous action had caused that thing to twitch just then....I would have screamed and run for the house.

But now it's my trophy. It is safely contained in a tightly sealed plastic container.

Next week.....a visit to the taxidermist.